Nerd Out.

If you like to know the theory behind the suggestion, you’ve come to the right place. Take your time with the articles below.  You’ll learn a ton about the self-actualization process and about how people become stalled in their growth. You’ll learn about Contact, Existentialism, Attachment Theory, and The 5 Ways You Block Contact with Yourself, Other People, and the World.

Articles like these put you on the path to becoming an internal expert, a concept I discuss in The Upside Field Guide, for the subject of lifestyle design. You’ll know more about these topics than 99% of the herd, more than anybody without specialized training. You can use this info to kick ass in your own life, you can teach it to your friends, or use it to add value to your coaching or counseling practice. These are the powerful underlying theories, concepts, and tools that counselors and coaches use to organize their work, but rarely share with clients. All articles © 2018 Alec Wilson. Please link and cite appropriately. Enjoy.


Laying the Foundation, Essay Series 1:

The Feeling of Fire

What is Self-Actualization?

Human Radar and the Function of Feelings

Emotional Intelligence and Intellectual Intelligence

The Problem with Your Father-in-Law

The Specter of Success Without Feelings


Existentialism, Essay Series 2

Existentialism, an Introduction


Meaning and Meaninglessness

Freedom and Responsibility


Existential vs. Neurotic Anxiety



Attachment Theory

The Contribution of Attachment Theory


A Workable Theory of Human Health, Essay Series 3

A Workable Theory of Human Health, Intro

The Spectrum of Human Needs

Figure and Background

Human Drives

The 5 Basic Emotions


The Cycle of Experience

A Workable Theory of Human Health


Avoidance, Essay Series 4

How It All Falls Apart

Avoidance, the Overarching Defense

Avoidance of Self

Avoidance of Others

Avoidance of the World


The 5 Ways You Block Contact, Essay Series 5







Lawnmower Parenting and Related Issues, Essay Series 6

The Loss of the Secret Lives of Children

Lawnmower Parenting

Resilience and Self-Worth

Misunderstanding Happiness and Success


The Rise of Technology

An Unworkable Theory of Human Health


The Linear Social Script

The Linear Social Script